Hosting an Au Pair: How It Works for Families
Are you thinking of welcoming an au pair into your home to help with the children (or with other needs) and to give your kids a cultural exchange experience? Here is what hosting an au pair means, what you can ask of them, what you must offer in return and how everything works on Au Pair Plus.
In a nutshell
Hosting an au pair means welcoming into your home a young person who lives with you, helps with the children and everyday life, and in return receives board, lodging and a contribution towards personal expenses.
An au pair is not a babysitter or a cleaner: they are a temporary member of the family who shares daily life and learns your language and culture.
The essentials in 4 points
Who
A young person: the European reference is ages 17–30. Each country sets its own limits.
How long
Usually up to 1 year, extendable to 2 under the European reference.
How much help
Usually no more than 5 hours a day of services to the family (European reference).
What you offer
Board, lodging, pocket money, free time and time to study the language.
An important clarification. These values come from the Council of Europe's European Agreement on Au Pair Placement (1969), a common reference. They do not replace the rules of the country where you live: in Ireland, for example, the law treats au pairs as domestic workers entitled to the minimum wage. Read the guide on Ireland. For other countries, you will find the guides at the bottom of the page.
What you can ask of an au pair
An au pair is part of the family, not an employee: tasks are agreed together and put in writing before arrival. In practice, they usually:
✅ Usually yes
- take the children to school or activities and pick them up
- play with them, help with homework and speak with them in their own language
- prepare breakfast, snacks and simple meals for the children
- tidy the children's rooms and help with small everyday chores
- help with other agreed needs, such as an elderly relative at home or a pet, if the agreement covers it
⛔ Usually no
- replace a cleaner for the heavy cleaning of the whole house
- exceed the hours written in the agreement or be asked to work at all hours
- be given tasks that were not agreed in advance
- act as a nurse or as a specialised carer for a person who is not self-sufficient
What is really included is decided by the written agreement and the rules of your country: if in doubt, talk about it with them from the first video calls.
What you must offer in return
Hosting an au pair is a mutual commitment. The European reference expects the family to provide:
A room of their own
Where possible, a separate room where they can rest and have their own space.
Board and lodging
They eat with you and live in your home, like a member of the family.
Pocket money
An agreed sum for personal expenses, written in the agreement. In some countries the law sets more precise rules.
Time to learn the language
The time (and, where possible, help) to attend a language course: it is one of the reasons they are with you.
Days off
At least one free day a week and at least one Sunday a month, to rest and meet other people.
Protection and insurance
Insurance, illness and accidents depend on the country: find out before they arrive.
How it works on Au Pair Plus
The process is simple and, for the first year, free for families who sign up by 15 January 2027.
Create your family profile
Tell us who you are, what help you need (children, elderly relatives, pets and more) and what life at home will be like, with photos and a presentation.
Browse verified profiles
Search among au pairs with unlimited searches and advanced filters, and save the candidates you like.
Write directly to candidates
Chat with those who convince you and ask all the questions you want, with no intermediaries. Messages are moderated.
Welcome your au pair
Agree the details together and put everything in writing before they arrive.
Ready to welcome your au pair?
Create your family profile in a few minutes: the first year is free if you sign up by 15 January 2027.
Sign up as a Family Browse Au PairsBefore arrival: the checklist
- Written agreement: hours, tasks, pocket money, days off and holidays, duration and notice. The European reference requires it, preferably before departure and at the latest within the first week. How to write it together
- The room: clean, with a comfortable bed and some space for their things.
- House rules: evening outings, use of the kitchen, guests, phone and internet. Better to say it up front than to correct later.
- Country rules: visa and permits if the au pair comes from outside Europe, insurance and legal obligations. Guide for families
- A video call before deciding, to get to know each other and clarify mutual expectations.
- The weekly schedule: hours, the children's commitments and free time. Free printable planner
Mistakes to avoid
⚠️ Warning signs
- expecting a full-time babysitter or a cleaner: it is something else
- not writing anything down and relying on verbal promises
- leaving no free time or day of rest
- underestimating the adjustment: the first days are the hardest for both sides
- not checking the country's rules on pocket money, hours and insurance
Further reading for families
Rules country by country
If your au pair lives in a country with particular rules, or if you want to understand what awaits those who leave, see the country guides:
Frequently asked questions
How much does it cost to find an au pair on Au Pair Plus?
For families who sign up by 15 January 2027 the first year is free. You create your profile, browse au pairs and write to candidates with no intermediaries.
Is an au pair a babysitter?
No. An au pair lives with the family, shares everyday life and helps in a limited way, while studying the language and having a cultural experience. A babysitter or a cleaner works by the hour and does not live with you.
How many hours can they work?
The European reference speaks of usually no more than 5 hours a day of services to the family, with at least one day off a week. Some countries apply different rules: check the country guide.
Do I have to pay a salary?
Usually this is pocket money, an agreed sum written in the agreement. In some countries, such as Ireland, the law treats the au pair as a worker entitled to the minimum wage.
Can they look after an elderly person or a pet?
If the agreement provides for it and it is within their abilities, yes, for small tasks of companionship and daily help. They cannot replace specialised care.
How long can they stay?
The European reference provides for an initial period of up to one year, extendable to two. Some countries apply different limits.
I'm an au pair: where do I find information for me?
On the dedicated page: What is an au pair and how does it work.
Information updated October 2026. The European references come from the European Agreement on Au Pair Placement (Council of Europe, 1969), which does not replace the rules of each country. Always check official sources.